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What Happened The First Time I Fell in Love

Dear ladies,

If I have ever told you that I love you, please don't believe. If you already have, please disbelieve. If I mistakenly tell you this is a joke, please take to your heels. And if you feel hurt and offended, I'm truly sorry, for I have just noticed after a deep introspection that I know not the true nature of LOVE.

As a boy, I placed my 'love' anticipations upon movie clich├ęs and the sweet talks of ignorant peers who derived pleasure in self deceit. I let the society woo me into enjoying a long lull in her whims. But the moment of repose wasn't meant to last. I witnessed; I learnt; and now I feel bold enough to share my story.

READ ALSO: An Open Letter to my Suicidal Friend

I was in secondary school when love, as it was widely perceived, dawned on me. I could remember it happened at first sight. Love was in the air; and, just like me, she couldn't hold her breath. I wasn't older than twelve years at the time, but the feeling was beyond what I had envisaged; best described in the poems below.

First time

Love


Throughout my junior secondary school years, love remained my greatest discovery. Our love was so pure that I wished we could maintain the relationship for the rest of our lives. I'm sure you understand that our minds work strangely in situations like this. Sadly, my wish was JUST meant to be a wish, nothing more. She transferred to another school, and that made all the difference.

Fate separated us, but text messages did a wonderful work of bridging the gap. After a couple of months, our juicy love turned a little bit sour. That was when I started looking at another. I broke her heart.

Love


As I grew older the ugly side of adolescence took its toll on me. Love became so cheap that I started spreading it around, and trust me, there was enough to go round.

My imaan(faith) suffered the most during this time. It hung loosely like a heavy drop of water that is about to plump down to the ground from the mouth of a tap. I was a ship rocking up and down in rhythm with the sea of desires. I continued navigating in all directions through the murky riptide until Allah blessed me with a rudder.

Honestly, I still do not know if my path is as  straight as it should be. And unless I have an "Iman-ometer" to check the level of my iman, I think I'm just a regular guy who is blessed with a sense of direction.

Now, all I can deduce from my experience is that the love of young people reside in their eyes and not in their hearts. And that the society is not the best place anyone could grasp the true concept of love because, unfortunately, it doesn't have a clear cut definition for the word, despite its simplicity.

READ ALSO: An Open Letter to my Suicidal Friend


You know one of my teachers in secondary school (nee Oduwole) once advised me to always observe my tahajjud, and supplicate with the words "Allahumma ihdini siratal mustaqim ( O Allah, guide me to the right path)." And with these words I shall leave you too. I Know I'm not the only one with this kind of experience; So if you want to leave one or two comments it'd be greatly appreciated. Please share. Thanks a lot.

Regret



2 comments:

  1. "Ihdinaa siraata-l-mustaqiim."

    There are lots of young people out there with the same experience, or even worse.

    ReplyDelete