An Open Letter to The First Girl I Ever Loved

My Dear,

Someone once told me that it is impossible to forget your first love, that they always occupy a special place in your heart (no matter how tiny). Indeed, she was right. I am unable to forget you.

Yes, it's been long. But memories are less affected by the passage of time. They are always there, stalking, waiting for the right moments to swing us back in time. My moment came again, my dear. And that is why I am writing this in the middle of a sleepless night.

The night may be dark, but my memories are vivid. And it is with a mixture of sadness and joy that I conjure up your face, your beautiful oval face; and your lovely eyes, laced with tiro, the first time I saw you. That was the day your dad enrolled you in my school.

Isn't it just so amazing how a J.S.S.2 boy could experience love at first sight? But it happened, my dear. I zinged. Even now, I have no cause to doubt Cupid's mastery of archery. Because I wasn't the only one affected. You were, too.

Tsk! What I'll do to relive those moments again. They were the most beautiful moments of my childhood years. Why, then, won't they stalk me?

Now that I think about those silly things I had to do to impress you, I can't help but laugh at myself.  We were young, and carefree, and that was what made our love so beautiful.

You probably would laugh at the silly things you had to do, too; you and your friend, Rofiat (may Allah grant her paradise). And it might interest you to know that I knew some of those things, the same way you knew some of mine. Isn't it funny how those things really mattered then? How they drove us crazy?

And those nights of countless SMS. Oh, you should have seen how I drooled whenever they popped on my phone. Do you even remember the first time I touched you? That night we got back from excursion, by the school gate. I still don't know why I held you by your upper arm, because I wasn't supposed to. But you smiled instead, and your eyes twinkled like the Sirius in the night skies. Such beauty.

How painful it is that I can't actually see your twinkling eyes this somber night. Tsk! But I'd rather not occupy this page with hurtful memories. You never deserved any of ...

For my wrongs and for words left unsaid, please forgive me. I would truly be a cruel person to bring tears to your lovely eyes... again. But you are fragile, my dear, and I doubt your eyes are not glossy with tears already. For this, too, please forgive me.

I know you are happy where you are, and I pray Almighty Allah never deprive you of happiness. Just so you know, I am happy, too. But memories never leave us. You will always be a very special part of me.


The boy you once loved with all your heart,
Akinyemi AbdulMalik.